5 Warnings Before You Get Married (and Divorced!)

Marriage is never easy. Having children is never easy. Getting a divorce is never easy.

Divorce attorneys understand this first-hand. They have seen it all throughout their entire careers. Couples that used to love each other now can’t stand to even be in the same room together. Families that were once close are now fractured into splinter cells. It’s morose to think about.

Over the years, divorce lawyers, even those without a spouse to come home to, have learned a thing or two about the married life. Their wisdom comes in handy, especially before the wedding, because they likely have the best advice to provide to you and your fiancée.

Although you only seek out a divorce attorney when you want to escape from your marriage, a divorce attorney can be great to find prior to the big day so you can receive some warnings.

Here are five things a divorce lawyer will tell you before you get married:

1. Your Spouse Will Never Change

If there are certain things you absolutely detest about your girlfriend or boyfriend, fiancée or lover then you must realize one thing: they will never change, even after you have married.

A common mistake that most people make is thinking that the person will eventually stop doing whatever makes you annoyed or that you can change who they are after the first day of marriage.

Should you adopt this mentality then you will be immensely disappointed at your one-year mark.

2. Always Sign a Prenuptial Agreement

Yes, it is understandable that it’s not romantic to sign a prenuptial agreement. Some say that it’s a sign you don’t have confidence in the strength of your relationship. This is the wrong attitude.

A prenuptial agreement is a great just-in-case measure. You don’t plan to have a fire in your home or get into a horrific accident, but that doesn’t prevent you from getting insurance.

Ditto for your marriage. You don’t plan to file for divorce or fall out of love with your significant other, but life happens, and a prenup protects both parties in more ways than one.

3. It Takes Hard Work for a Marriage to Last

No one ever said marriage was easy. It takes communication, planning, strategizing, sacrifice, understanding and many other factors to make a marriage last until your demise.

Perhaps it is the microwave dinner, one-hour dry cleaning, 140-character tweets that have made us lose our patience. That said, marriage requires a great deal of patience, and if you don’t have it then the first hiccup in your marriage will make you start doubting yourself and your spouse.

4. Money Will Always Come Between You

It may be shallow to utter, but money will always play a massive role in your marriage. This is why you must ensure that you have found the right person to marry and plan a life together.

For instance, if you’re someone who likes to save at least one-fifth of your annual income and stay home on a Friday night eating a homecooked meal then you must have someone in your life who enjoys the same thing. On the other hand, if you’re a saver and she’s a spender then you won’t last very long. That is the hard-boiled truth, and you must realize this right now.

This goes back to the first point: you can’t expect their free spending ways to end once you have become husband and wife.

5. Grow in Life Together

Marriage is all about companionship, accomplishing something together. This could mean having children, buying a home together or taking adventurous getaways. From the day you say “I do,” a married couple is building a life together – it isn’t all about you or the other person.

Once you have this etched in your mind, you will feel like an adult, a responsible person and, most important of all, a human being with person. Be a mensch!

Having showers and baths together, openly communicating regularly and being intimate are all elements that make a marriage successful and permanent. It is true that all marriages have their peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows, bumpy and smooth rides. This isn’t the end of the world.

Divorce should always be the worst-case scenario. When should you have a divorce? It’s an arbitrary answer, but if you’re afraid of the kitchen drawer then it’s time to move on.

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